Windsor Muslim women react to Shafia verdict

On this side of the world there is no such thing as an honour killing. This is domestic violence to the Nth degree and it has no place in a civilized society.

Any group coming over here needs to understand fully that while in their country of origin this may be condoned once they cross the Atlantic - WELCOME TO NORTH AMERICA -.

This kind of horror is not going to be tolerated.

The problem being, it is tolerated within their own communities and the vast majority of the time, it's kept quiet.

Domestic violence in our culture is being kept quiet too.

The difference is that domestic violence, forced marriages (rape), child marriages (child rape), and etc. are not acceptable in our culture.

Really? I was under the impression that it's being discussed everywhere, the cops have rules where they have to charge even if the vic recants, etc. We have safe houses. At some point the victims are also going to have to help themselves by seeking help and accepting it.

Really? I was under the impression that it's being discussed everywhere, the cops have rules where they have to charge even if the vic recants, etc. We have safe houses. At some point the victims are also going to have to help themselves by seeking help and accepting it.

OMG, these people lived in the western culture, they had access to the same facilities. Yet they didn't.

And you believe that that was just because they were... I dunno, Muslim?

The fact that the facilities, amenities or what ever you want to call it are there, does not mean that the victims are not keeping quiet. LOTS of them are. But, Andy knows best, and here, in the west, domestic violence is out in the open.

Compared to what it used to be, it's way out in the open. I don't think we supress it as a culture, we've had a ton of discussion about it. But victims also need to help themselves by seeking help, otherwise how can anybody help them. This is true even of the eldest daughter who ran away to a woman's shelter but then went back home. She shouldn't have done that.

If victims keep quiet, there's only so much we can do - we're not mind readers. I guarantee you that if a woman comes to emerg with black eyes, the docs are going to want to know how she got them and will likely call the police. The police will charge even if the woman does not press charges. What more can we do? Women counselled for domestic violence are told that they are responsible for their safety. The have to have an escape plan and make good on it if they want help. Then the system can kick into place.

And yes, there's lots to lose if you report violence - money, status. Life can be difficult aftwards. But you can't expect society to somehow fix hubby while you sit back and do nothing - just won't work.

I never said that as a culture, we supress it. I said that in the western society, domestic violence is being kept quiet too. Of course, by the victims. And by the perps (duhhh). Just as these women were victims and kept quiet.

When you are raised to keep quiet and to shut up, it is hard to change that.

OK - that's a pretty obvious statement then. Vics have all kinds of reasons to stay quiet. Shame is one of them, especially for men. I thought you meant that we were suppressing victims voices, as the feminists would have us believe. I just don't know how much more we can do as a society to reduce domestic violence. We live in a violent culture, always have.

I know a woman going thru a nasty divorce who got a tooth knocked out. But she hit him first - so who's the victim here?

Oh, absolutely!! For as far as I know, there are very little places for men to go in the first place, and as a man, you don't go to your friends, telling them that your wife is beating you...
Oh hell no!
I don't think we can, other than raise our kids to have a voice and make the right choices, and when they didn't, they know who to turn to...
Sadly, you are right.

Both...