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- CANADIAN CONSERVATIVES POLITICAL PARTY APPLICATION -
Category: Canadian Jokes/Political Jokes

From: Old_Fart
Author: Unknown
Added: April 18, 2007
Modified: April 18, 2007
Views: 8439
Votes: 137
Rating: 9.44



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CANADIAN CONSERVATIVES POLITICAL PARTY APPLICATION :


CANADIAN CONSERVATIVES POLITICAL PARTY APPLICATION

This is all most an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to the local Conservative Party in Smiths Falls Ontario.
Maybe they`ll hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Old Fart Richard (A Grumpy Bastard)

SEX:
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate "for 5 to 72 hours")

DESIRED POSITION:
Political Party's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place?

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus five month vacation`s and Canadian Liberal MP: KHAN style travel package whom is now in the Conservative Party or a Senate placing like a Conservative Member got in Quebec. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday & Wednessday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment and flip-flopping.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?!

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what, OTTAWA`s HOT AIR?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living on the Hawaiian Islands with a fabulously wealthy sexy blonde who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....
Seven miles.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old Fart`s Threw Out Canada Rock***






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