$1:
The only boxed food I still eat on occasion is macaroni and cheese-powder.
Got a tale to tell.
I hate that stuff, used to steal the cheese powder to sprinkle on popcorn and then serve the kids the macaroni with tomato sauces.
One day the wife made the kids mac and cheese. They were puzzled. It was white and tasted awful.
Asked her what the hell she did. Said she found a box that was opened and the cheese pack was missing. She knew I did that all the time and said she saw some packs on the laundry room shelf. Assumed it was white cheddar when she used it.
-It was septic tank starter! Two packs fell out of the pack on the shelf above.
Shoulda seen the pandemonium.
You tried to kill us Mom! Gagg Puke25 years later on the 3rd old lady, I understand why she might've concieved of the idea I'd put food in the goddam laundry room. Found large Phillips driver in the cutlery drawer. Can of compressed air for computers in the fridge. The axe was in with the Xmas decorations. Discovered the ultimate purpose of doors and drawers is to put large heavy things in front of so you can't open them....etc. etc. etc.