Choban Choban:
QBall QBall:
Choban Choban:
God I hope this doesn't happen.
Has anyone evcer studied the effects of raising children in a same sex partnership?
My wife is a special ed assistant, she got a new kid this year in grade 7, this boy was raised by 2 lesbians and she tells me he has some real issues. There have to be limits.
Out of curiosity what are the boy's issues? You don't have to say if there is some sort of confidentiality requirement you're worried about, I'm just wondering what sort of issues can arise from that situation.
Problems with athority (especially female), He doesn't bond well with other kids, Acts out in class for no reason (he's not a.d.d or suffering from any disabilities, seems to be purly a social thing), constant bullying of others and lashing out, Thats all I'm aware of. Like I asked I was wondering if any studies have been done
These 2 ladies have raised him since he was a year old.
Hey Choban,
Behavioural problems are generally the result of inept parenting or outright abuse (parental or otherwise.) Parental gender has nothing to do with it, as you will no doubt see if you pause to think about it. (Need evidence? Consider this: most dysfunctional and/or sociopathic adult males had opposite sex parents, or were raised by a single parent.)
Speaking from experience, my female partner and I successfully raised a very willful, articulate, and intelligent little boy from a brat to a fine young man who is now 22. (He was 9 when I met him and the rudest child I had ever seen. His mom had raised him alone from the age of 6 months, and her parents would spoil him rotten. Up to that point,
no one had set normal limits and expectations for him such as "make your bed", "help carry the groceries in" and so on. To say he was "resistant to authority" would be putting it mildly.)
In addition, my (step)son's father worked overseas and my son had a month-long visitation period with him every summer. Thanks to excessive criticism, loneliness and general neglect, he almost always came home with his self-esteem in tatters. It was up to my partner and I to repair his self esteem and show him he was loved and cherished.
At 22, he doesn't yet quite get why children need limits and structure, but he is a fine young man who'd be the envy of any parent.
My point: a child's behaviour may become antisocial when parents (of any sex) have a general lack of ability to model and teach appropriate behaviour; an inability to set and keep appropriate limits; are abusive; neglectful; or especialy when a child is sexually abused.
If a child is acting out, it usually means he is terribly unhappy and there is
always a concrete reason. Your wife should talk with the boy's parents (mums) and get the school counselor involved if there is one.
The real question everyone should be asking is: When did this behaviour start and what are the possible triggering events?
One scenario that comes to mind could be this: it's likely that the mums have made efforts to provide their son with appropriate male role models, perhaps via Big Brothers, trusted male friends and relatives, sports coaches and so on. Is one or more of these men sexually abusing the child? (Most pedophiles are heterosexual males.) In fact, they should not automatically rule out the boy's father or a religious leader.
I don't mean to rant on you, but please think twice before you jump to ANY conclusions about gays and lesbians. Ask us a few questions if there's something on your mind. If approached with respect and genuine (non-prurient) interest, I'd venture to say that most of us would be happy to give a candid reply.
As for "there have to be limits", are you suggesting that we should not have the same civil rights you have? Surely you are too smart to really believe that....
Kathee
CKA Elite 
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