[Robair]

We live one street over from the local hall or church or whatever they call it. So it's pretty much every week on our front door.

I've always been polite with the exception of this morning. Our six month old baby had just gone to sleep when there's a knock at the door. knocks at our door cause barking, which in turn causes baby to wake up and start crying.

Needless to say I was less than courteous.

Here's my solution... http://www.cafepress.com/nojehova.437201320

[martin14]

We get them one a year or so.

I tell them I dont speaka da blah blah,

they move on.

[Robair]

One a year. I wish. The hall is the next street over. It's getting old.

[martin14]

My solutions, in order of preference.


Burn the hall down.

Go down to the hall, speak to the head guppy,
tell them your house is now off limits.

Get together with the neighbors, do the tar/feather pitchfork/torch thing.

[tritium]

Robair Robair:

We live one street over from the local hall or church or whatever they call it. So it's pretty much every week on our front door.

I've always been polite with the exception of this morning. Our six month old baby had just gone to sleep when there's a knock at the door. knocks at our door cause barking, which in turn causes baby to wake up and start crying.

Needless to say I was less than courteous.

Here's my solution... http://www.cafepress.com/nojehova.437201320

Sorry to say, but why don't you just substitute Jehovah Witness, with Muslim, or Mexicans or Blacks?

Get my point... sounds a little bigoted.

SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM IS:

Next time tell them you were previously disfellowshipped (kicked out of the church). They are not allowed to speak to you, or risk being kicked out of the church themselves. They will not return to your home....

[ShepherdsDog]

I shit you not, we have them here too. It's a tie between them and the fucking Mormons as to who is the most annoying. The largest Christian denomination here is the Presbyterians, and they don't bother you at all. We also have a Roman Catholic and Catholic Lite(Anglican) Church, a Lutheran Church, a Pentecostal Church and a Methodist Church, all within about 10 minutes from us. Two doors down is a huge Baptist Church as well. Only the Mormons and the Voweless Jews go knocking. The Mormons usually stop when you bring up DNA, archaeology and history and John "El Ron" Smith. Whenever they introduce themselves, I ask why Elder is such a popular first name amongst Mormon men or when the women do so, I ask if they're nuns.

Here's a good joke, that's been around for a bit.

What do you get when you cross a biker and a JW? Someone who knocks on your door at 8 AM Saturday morning, and tells you to Fuck Off!

[kitty]

tritium tritium:

Robair Robair:

We live one street over from the local hall or church or whatever they call it. So it's pretty much every week on our front door.

I've always been polite with the exception of this morning. Our six month old baby had just gone to sleep when there's a knock at the door. knocks at our door cause barking, which in turn causes baby to wake up and start crying.

Needless to say I was less than courteous.

Here's my solution... http://www.cafepress.com/nojehova.437201320

Sorry to say, but why don't you just substitute Jehovah Witness, with Muslim, or Mexicans or Blacks?

Get my point... sounds a little bigoted.

i dont think thats quite accurate. i would have a problem with ANYONE uninvited that continually knocks on my door soliciting.

$1:

SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM IS:

Next time tell them you were previously disfellowshipped (kicked out of the church). They are not allowed to speak to you, or risk being kicked out of the church themselves. They will not return to your home....

Thats almost perfect!
Will they tell their friends so everyone will stop coming or do you have to tell people over and over? Just wondering.

[QBC]

Just tell them you're satanist, you're having a meeting as you speak and invite them in, with a very evil smile on your face. That's very important, the evil smile and look them up and down as you invite them, kinda like you're sizing them up for the soup pot....

I did that to some people who came to my door doing a "religious survey"... ....they turned quite white in the face and left in a wee bit of a hurry...

[ShepherdsDog]

$1:

i dont think thats quite accurate. i would have a problem with ANYONE uninvited that continually knocks on my door soliciting.

Those knobs from Amway being a prime example.

[Yogi]

I too have a Kingdom Hall one street over. Very simple solution. Used to be able to get a window/winshield sticker from Red Cross. It was about 2" square,,gold, and had a + in the middle with the words 'I am A Blood Donor'. If you can still get one, Put it on the front door. All I did out here, after being bothered a couple of times, using red vinyl tape, I put a 3" + on the corner of my front door, haven't been bothered since!

[GreenTiger]

QBC QBC:

Just tell them you're satanist, you're having a meeting as you speak and invite them in, with a very evil smile on your face. That's very important, the evil smile and look them up and down as you invite them, kinda like you're sizing them up for the soup pot....

I did that to some people who came to my door doing a "religious survey"... ....they turned quite white in the face and left in a wee bit of a hurry...

I know somebody who did exactly that and it worked quite well, he had fun with it, they ran like hell and they never bothered him since.

[kenmore]

The JW's are a major cult.. one of my brothers converted to that so I found a book about them at the library called "Inside the Jehovah's Witness.. quite an eye opener. The best way to deal with them is say not interested and close the door. They are so friggen brainwashed that if you enter into conversation with them or take their propaganda paper they will haunt your doorstep for ever. My brother shunned his son who was marrying a girl who wouldn't convert. In his eyes his son is dead and he has no contact with him or his grandchildren.. This is religious? don't think so.

[kenmore]

GreenTiger GreenTiger:

QBC QBC:

Just tell them you're satanist, you're having a meeting as you speak and invite them in, with a very evil smile on your face. That's very important, the evil smile and look them up and down as you invite them, kinda like you're sizing them up for the soup pot....

I did that to some people who came to my door doing a "religious survey"... ....they turned quite white in the face and left in a wee bit of a hurry...

I know somebody who did exactly that and it worked quite well, he had fun with it, they ran like hell and they never bothered him since.

The Jehovahs are not Christian, they don't believe in Christ or his birth. They do believe in God. They do smoke, drink and party hardy. Its a major cult.

[andyt]

Robair Robair:

We live one street over from the local hall or church or whatever they call it. So it's pretty much every week on our front door.

I've always been polite with the exception of this morning. Our six month old baby had just gone to sleep when there's a knock at the door. knocks at our door cause barking, which in turn causes baby to wake up and start crying.

Needless to say I was less than courteous.

Here's my solution... http://www.cafepress.com/nojehova.437201320

Solution 1: quit your barking when somebody comes to the door.

Solution 2: Long ago, after a heavy night there was a knock at my door Sunday morning. Still in a haze I answered the door naked. There stood the loveliest Jehova's MILF I had ever seen. I was ready to answer the call, even after the exertions of the night before, but she had somehow lost interest in converting me and was making her retreat. I was never bothered again.

Solution 3: Grow up in a competing cult, so you can argue with the fuckers and try to convert them. I had a friend who grew up 7th Day Adventist, and still had this huge tome of theirs. He would haul that out and go at the Jehovies hammer and tong. Seeing him chasing them down the road, frothing at the mouth, was a wonder do behold.

Solution 4: Once when a very sweet one in a wheelchair tried to convert me on the street, and I wasn't in any hurry, so I had a bit of a discussion with her. Turns out that you don't go to hell if you don't convert to JW. I had her right there - what's the point of converting if there's no consequence to not doing so? They really need to update their spiel to the fire and brimstone crap that the other sects preach. Plus, only 144,000 will make it to heaven, and they already have more than 144,000 members - so where's the percentage in joining up?

[rawmeat]

tritium tritium:

Robair Robair:

We live one street over from the local hall or church or whatever they call it. So it's pretty much every week on our front door.

I've always been polite with the exception of this morning. Our six month old baby had just gone to sleep when there's a knock at the door. knocks at our door cause barking, which in turn causes baby to wake up and start crying.

Needless to say I was less than courteous.

Here's my solution... http://www.cafepress.com/nojehova.437201320

Sorry to say, but why don't you just substitute Jehovah Witness, with Muslim, or Mexicans or Blacks?

Get my point... sounds a little bigoted.

SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM IS:

Next time tell them you were previously disfellowshipped (kicked out of the church). They are not allowed to speak to you, or risk being kicked out of the church themselves. They will not return to your home....

When was the last time that Mexicans or Black people knocked on your door trying to make you go Mexican or Black?