[fatbasturd]

peter peter pumkin eater
had a wife but could not eat her
cause the bitch didn't wash

[ziggy]

"We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

[Blue_Nose]

Who is this new BoobyMeade?
His posts are too long to read
With Bible citations
He vents his frustrations
on the internet - a nutcase, indeed!

[ziggy]

There once was a man from Peru.
Who fell asleep in a canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
he pulled out his pe*nis,
and woke up with a handful of goo.

[ziggy]

Fatbasturd sent me this one.

$1:

The lass I brought home was a prize,
With an alluring set of bright blue eyes,
Her breasts, so well kept,
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise.

[ziggy]

My hair.

$1:

I'm aware some stare at my hair.
In fact, to be fair,
Some really despair of my hair.
But I don't care,
Cause they're not aware,
Nor are they debonair.
In fact, they're just square.

They see hair down to there,
Say, "Beware" and go off on a tear!
I say, "No fair!"
A head that's bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care.
Wear it to there.
Or to there.
Or to there, if you dare!

My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
Did I care?
Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astaire got no hair,
Nor does a chair,
Nor nor a chocolate eclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frere!

So now that I've shared this affair of the hair,
I'm going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?

(Beard Poem)

Here's my beard.
Ain't it weird?
Don't be sceered,