[Tyler_1]

bootlegga bootlegga:

What do you think? Anything I should improve? Change?

Please don't let the zombies walk to Alberta.

[ShepherdsDog]

too late......... Edmonton has already fallen

[Tyler_1]

ShepherdsDog ShepherdsDog:

too late......... Edmonton has already fallen

Oh ohhhh, that means my sister is bitey!
Watch out people, she's fast!

[Dayseed]

I don't know if you're familiar with Toronto, but there's an AMC Theater in Dundas Square. Were your two to stumble out of that, the entire square could be full of zombies, panic and chaos.

The only flaw so far is that the zombie apocalypse ever spread to Toronto streets. I know for one that I would run over a healthy human being to make a yellow-light so zombies not getting squished into a permanent fixture of the pavement at any intersection is unrealistic.

[Dayseed]

Sorry to double-post, but I think if you wanted more realistic heroes, have them ride frigging bikes. Bicycles don't run out of gasoline yet outrun shambling zombies. They don't make noise that attracts them, they don't need to be outfitted Road Warrior style to upend abandoned cars on roadways because they don't even need roads. They can still carry supplies in trailers.

It's not as sexy as an armoured bus with gun ports smashing cars and shooting zombies, but that's been waaaaay overdone.

[stratos]

Or maybe motor bikes instead of bicycles. Yes they make noise but you can do a lot more cross country action that way. Saddle bags for food and supplies. Gas issue comes into play but at the same time bikes use far less to go a lot further. So syphoning out of abandon cars could be a possibility.

If you want/need info on Austin Tx. Like a news flash about zombies munching on ppl drop me a PM and I'll give you some street names, differing locations and what not.

Also let us know when you go to print so we can grab a copy. IF your publisher wants to send out copys to have previewed by editorials let me know so I can keep a look out for it at work.

[bootlegga]

BartSimpson BartSimpson:

bootlegga bootlegga:

What do you think? Anything I should improve? Change?

Yes. Have the couple leave the theatre and then go to their car where Jeff THEN gets his pistol from the trunk of the car. Then when the zombie busts in Eileen's window Jeff pops the f*cker with a headshot, apologizes to Eileen, and keeps driving. Then when the next zombie springs out from the bushes near the intersection Jeff again pops the f*cker and saves Eileen once again.

Seems to me that anyone smart enough to have a pistol in their car is going to be smart enough to use it. It's one of the things I always hate about horror stories is that people leave all sorts of weapons laying around when they really, really need one. Then I find myself cheering for the zombies when they kill off the stupid people.

It's this or just skip the part about the pistol. But having someone with a pistol and then not using it when they really need it is not terribly plausible to me. Make them unarmed and stick with the story or have them armed and surviving.

My $.02

Dayseed Dayseed:

I don't know if you're familiar with Toronto, but there's an AMC Theater in Dundas Square. Were your two to stumble out of that, the entire square could be full of zombies, panic and chaos.

The only flaw so far is that the zombie apocalypse ever spread to Toronto streets. I know for one that I would run over a healthy human being to make a yellow-light so zombies not getting squished into a permanent fixture of the pavement at any intersection is unrealistic.

Thanks for the feedback.

This scene is set at the very beginning of the outbreak, so the whole zombie thing is still new and somewhat unexpected - even for a fan of zombie movies like Jeff.

BartSimpson BartSimpson:

Edit: The battle at the Edmonton base was excellent.

That is but one part of the battle. A scene farther on involves both artillery and an air strike.

[bootlegga]

ShepherdsDog ShepherdsDog:

too late......... Edmonton has already fallen

Not in this story - Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon and some rural areas survive the inital onslaught, while most of the rest of the world is overrun and wiped out.

[bootlegga]

Dayseed Dayseed:

Sorry to double-post, but I think if you wanted more realistic heroes, have them ride frigging bikes. Bicycles don't run out of gasoline yet outrun shambling zombies. They don't make noise that attracts them, they don't need to be outfitted Road Warrior style to upend abandoned cars on roadways because they don't even need roads. They can still carry supplies in trailers.

It's not as sexy as an armoured bus with gun ports smashing cars and shooting zombies, but that's been waaaaay overdone.

There are two heroes - a cop doing his best to save people and a hockey player trying to survive. The hockey player tries to fortify his apartment and when that is doesn't work, he holes up somewhere else.

You must have read my mind, there is a family that use bikes in my novel. They aren't affilated with the heroes, but they do bump into them somewhere near the halfway point.

[stratos]

Zombies on a ice in a hockey rink.... now that would be worth paying to see. High sticking is no longer a penalty

[commanderkai]

bootlegga bootlegga:

BartSimpson BartSimpson:

Edit: The battle at the Edmonton base was excellent.

That is but one part of the battle. A scene farther on involves both artillery and an air strike.

So the military isn't incompetent like in World War Z? Excellent.

[bootlegga]

DonnaWho DonnaWho:

bootlegga bootlegga:

What do you think? Anything I should improve? Change?

Please don't let the zombies walk to Alberta.

Some of you folks are psychic - that's indeed what happens in parts 2 & 3! The only question is can the CF fight off thousands/millions of zombies?

[bootlegga]

commanderkai commanderkai:

bootlegga bootlegga:

BartSimpson BartSimpson:

Edit: The battle at the Edmonton base was excellent.

That is but one part of the battle. A scene farther on involves both artillery and an air strike.

So the military isn't incompetent like in World War Z? Excellent.

Nope, that's one thing that always drives me nuts about zombie novels - the military is either incometent or psychotic.

The CF (and police forces across the nation) are depicted as professionals trying to accomplish a near impossible task, ie save everyone in Canada from a fate worse than death.

[bootlegga]

stratos stratos:

Or maybe motor bikes instead of bicycles. Yes they make noise but you can do a lot more cross country action that way. Saddle bags for food and supplies. Gas issue comes into play but at the same time bikes use far less to go a lot further. So syphoning out of abandon cars could be a possibility.

If you want/need info on Austin Tx. Like a news flash about zombies munching on ppl drop me a PM and I'll give you some street names, differing locations and what not.

Also let us know when you go to print so we can grab a copy. IF your publisher wants to send out copys to have previewed by editorials let me know so I can keep a look out for it at work.

I'd be interested in using Austin (or any other city) if it fits into my storyline - if it has a major military base or industrial complex that produces military hardware, it would work. If it's just another big city with nothing unique about it, it probably wouldn't.

Edmonton works because it has a base, a factory (producing LAV IIIs) and a few other factors that I won't announce, because they might spoil the plot.

For the record, I self-published (in ebook and paperback formats) this last year and I'm currently working on two sequels for it. If you're interested in taking a peak (the first 30% is viewable online for free), PM me and I'll send you the info.

[stratos]

A military and police force doing what they are trained and equiped to do... a first for a zombie novel. I like the thought.