[Arctic_Menace]

The following is just the first few paragraphs in the first chapter of a book I am writing in bits of my free time. I would really appreciate any constructive criticism(although I already know I'm not that great a writer) and any comments, be they good or bad.

Hope fully I'll have more of the first chapter in the future. It sets up the basis for the story and sets events in motion that occur over close to 200 years. Hope you guys like it...











[align=center]CHAPTER I[/align]

[align=center]I shall send a sign to my people.
When the Pearl Moon runs red with blood,
And a wolf with eyes of blood stalks the forest,
You will know the time is near...[/align]

The moons were in the sky performing their nightly dances. They bathed the ground with their combined light. To the East, the calm sea gently lapped the bright shoreline with fondness while to the North, the mountains stoop proud and tall looking over the desert-like Valley of Sikiros to the South. It seemed calm enough a night that was bathed in blue light were it not for a small flickering flame at the base of the mountains. It remained there for sometime, until it disappeared into the night. The only thing that disturbed the blue calm of the night, was the cry of a lone wolf. The world was at peace with the exception of two Arcs who now began to stalk the lone wolf. Soon, the unmistakable sound of snapping underbrush could be heard at the bottom of the mountains. Slowly and as quietly as possible, these Arcs began to stalk the wolf up the Mountains of Oljar.

Jakhar and Hol had stalked the wolf for two days now. It was taking them deeper and deeper into the forested mountains of Oljar. Jakhar was the shaman for a Hekanathan clan who had seen a wolf with red eyes on a night where the Pearl Moon had appeared low over the horizon and blood red. There was no mistaking the signs. He took the camp's best warrior, Hol, with him to follow the wolf and the next thing they knew, they had found themselves heading deeper and deeper into unfamiliar territory. Jakhar became worried. He did not know when the wolf would stop but he hoped that it would, so that they would not become too lost. The two of them silently stalked the wolf; Hol tightly gripping his hunting spear. Each time they got close to the wolf, it would start running away from them again. They heard a noise up ahead. Surely it must be the wolf. They stepped closer, careful not to make a sound, and then they saw it. The wolf. It was up ahead sitting on top of a fallen tree, looking straight at them with it's blood red eyes. They had never felt such fear envelop them before. It permeated them with a sense of emptiness and dread. Jakhar felt as though the vines of a dark evil were winding their way up his body and pulling him into the ground. He felt as though as he was being pulled backwards and down, while everything became dark around him. Everything, except the wolf's red eyes. They stared intently at him. Jakhar tried to look away, but his eyes would not move from the judgemental stare of the wolf. He felt the vines of darkness bind his body. Everything became darker and darker. He noticed that the forest around him was disappearing and the red stare of the wolf became all the more intense. Soon, all he could see, were the blood red eyes of the wolf. Nothing else existed for him at the moment except his eyes and the wolf's eyes. Suddenly, he felt as though he knew what the wolf wanted from him and somehow, managed to say a few words.

"Where are you leading us?" he asked. The wolf did nothing but continue to stare. Jakhar asked again, but more pleadingly. "Please, tell us where you are leading us."

The wolf suddenly turned and headed off further up the mountain. As it turned away, everything returned to normal. The forest returned, the moons returned, Jakhar and Hol felt the vines release them, and they both felt as though they had quickly risen from the ground. The two of them stood there frozen in fear for a brief moment before they regained their senses and followed it again. They noticed that they were approaching a small clearing on the side of the mountain where the wolf was yet again waiting for them. They approached quietly, still very wary of the wolf. And there it stood again in front of them, piercing them with its red eyes. Suddenly, the wolf spoke.

"Lay down your weapons," it said. This shocked Jakhar and Hol, as it was clearly not normal for a wolf to speak. They were also not sure if teh wolf was really a Demon Prince, that wished nothing more than to destroy them. They felt the darkness envelop them again as the wolf's stare grew more intense by the second. It said again: "Lay down your weapons". This time, they obeyed and layed down their tools and weapons. After doing so, the wolf transformed into a sight neither of them had seen in their life. It had the appearance and stature of a man, but all the features of a wolf. It had a wolf's head, tail, legs and claws, yet walked upright and composed itself much like a man standing upright. It wore beautifully decorated and patterned robes, and wore a bracelet that had a metal plate of the symbol of brotherhood dangling from it. This creature spoke again.

"You two have followed me for two days and two nights, which is admirable. Most other Arcs would not even dare to be so foolish to travel so far outside their tribal territory. You have showed devotion, which impressed your God and I am here to deliver his message. Many years ago, he told your leaders of a prophecy that would bring a stranger to these lands and unite the Arcish tribes. The time for that however, will come long after your bodies have turned to dust. I am here to tell you exactly when the stranger will come."

Jakhar was angered by these words. "Wait," he began. "We were under the impression that the prophecy would happen with your coming and when the pearl moon turned to blood. My people will not be happy."

The creature retorted: "I care not for that since your people misinterpreted the signs. Their foolishness and ignorance is of no consequence to me. A messenger was to come and reveal the true prophecy. That is who I am. The Messenger." He pointed somewhere over the horizon. "Look over there," he commanded them. "That is the Sea which will bring the stranger to your lands. He will be born under a bloodmoon, and orphaned at an early age. He will be taken to another land, where he shall live for many years before returning here. These are the marks the stranger will bear. remember my words. Now return to your lands, and tell the Arcish councils what I have told you. May your God be with you."

And without a further word, he dissolved into the dark sky.

*****

"Hol," began Sjlatoar Khadar. "Is what Jakhar speaks of true?"

"Yes," he cautiously replied. "The creature told us that now is not the time of the prophecy, but merely to announce his coming long after many of us have turned to dust."

The Arcish council was abuzz with talk over what Jakhar and Hol had seen five days ago. Representatives of all Arcish tribes in the area were present and wondering what to do and how to better interpret the signs. The Sjlatoars, Arthajes, Shamans and Wisewomen of all possible tribes were gathered around the great fire in the Eastern Fringe Forest, where tribal councils had always occured. Everyone was arguing over how to proceed. There were those who argued that they should note the signs and follow them precisely. There were those who wanted to give up on the prophecy, and those who wanted to search for the wolf again. The council was becoming louder and louder with all of the people shouting over each other. Jakhar finally stood up and hushed them all.

"Silence!" he bellowed. "The only acceptable course of action is to tell what I saw five days ago with Hol to our children's children's children. They very well may be the only ones who will live to see Kharthajos' prophecy fulfilled. We must educate them on what has happened. They are quite possibly the only hope we have for peace among all the tribes."

A young Arc from a Mojakuthan Clan stood up. "This whole prophecy is ridiculous! Why would the Arcs, the fiercest warriors on the face of the Earth, want peace? Our tribes, lands, society and culture has been based off of honourable battles and glorious wars! For all we know the prophecy is just a ploy by demons to destroy us and our way of life!"

His words were met with nods of agreement and approval along with cries of outrage. Jakhar began to speak again.

"Keimar," began Jakhar. "If the tribes do not find peace in the future, we will surely destroy ourselves through battle! Millenia ago, we were spread all throughout the mountains and valleys of this great land. Now, we are forced to live alongside the Aelfborns who came here when the Mojakuthan ruled the Great Valley. Now, our numbers are lower than ever, and it is because we are fighting amongst ourselves. If we do not find peace, we will destroy ourselves."

His words were met with applause, nods, and shouts of heresy.

"I have heard enough!" declared Sljatoar Khadar. "We must make sure that the prophecy is upheld and its signs passed down through the generations. It is in our best interests if we follow the signs closely. Kharthajos be with our people."

[stratos]

Interesting, sounds like something I would read.

[Arctic_Menace]

Awesome. Thanks for the input.

[TattoodGirl]

Cool! Keep at it AM!

[Arctic_Menace]

$1:

Cool! Keep at it AM!

Thank you!

[Tricks]

I'm not going to lie, I haven't read it. Too lazy, but if you finish it, and it is in stores. I will be first in line to buy it

[stratos]

Hey I wont lie I want a free signed copy.

[Arctic_Menace]

Wow, thanks guys!

If I ever get it published, you'll all get free signed copies!

[Tricks]

Arctic_Menace Arctic_Menace:

Wow, thanks guys!

If I ever get it published, you'll all get free signed copies!

I don't need your charity!

[Arctic_Menace]

Here is a later part of the book. Some ways after chapter one...





[align=center]*****[/align]

[align=center]The Second Sign
First Quarter of the Pearl Moon

When the moon is cut in half,
And when all the world sleeps,
The Sojourner has no peaceful rest,
For in his dreams he weeps.[/align]


The situation was tense. Dael had to now help in the reconstruction effort of Adrianople, which would be extensive. The raiders had done considerable damage; nearly half of the city had been burned by them. Dael and his patrol were tasked with finding survivors and wounded personnel and bring them to the local garrison for treatment. It was going to be a long, tedious job he thought to himself. These thoughts however, were not the most dominant ones in his mind. Not a week ago had Orisian warned him of the seven signs that would ordain the Sojourner. The seven signs would all occur at specific times in accordance with the nightly dance of the Moon of Prophecy, the Pearl Moon. The first sign was a City of Fire. The second sign was to be endless nightmares for four days. The third sign is to conquer disease, the fourth sign is to be a call of a Bloodmoon, the fifth to slay a lone wolf, the sixth sign is that someone will attempt to take the Sojourner's life and the seventh and final sign, is visions of death and destruction. While he didn't fully believe in the prophecy, a part of him wondered if the burning of Adrianople was the first sign that Orisian spoke of. He quickly tossed these thoughts from his mind and tried to focus on the task at hand, which was to find survivors. But all throughout, there was a voice in the back of his head that kept telling him that the signs were happening.

Later that night, Dael's group was given some time to rest. They noticed from the amount of moonlight that it was the first quarter, making the Pearl Moon look like a bowl tipped on its side. The locals called it the Drunkard's moon, because it looked like a drunk man knocked over the bowl that was the Pearl Moon. After some jokes and a quick bite to eat, the group made their way to some barracks for a few hours rest. Unfortunately for Dael, there would be no rest because the second sign of ordainment now hung high over his head.

Dael found himself in a dark, cavernous area. There was no light where he was. Every step he took resonated. He assumed he was in a maze-like structure underground. He put his hand on the wall and tried to feel around. The walls were moist and mossy. Clearly, no one had been here in eons. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he felt as though he should move forward, as though some presence far away were pulling him to something. He wound his way through the maze, until he came across a section of the stone-walled tunnel that had a portion of the ceiling knocked out, which allowed for some moonlight to shine in. He thought he saw briefly a figure slip past the moonlight, being caught for only a moment in sight. As he slowly passed by the illuminated area, he looked up at the Pearl Moon through the hole. It was beautiful hanging there in the deep blue sky, but suddenly it made him feel very alone and scared. He felt something breathe on the back of his neck. He quickly turned around only to find an illuminated part of a wall. He was scared, but the force that he felt earlier kept pulling him towards it.

He kept winding his way through the maze-like tunnel for what seemed like an eternity, until he saw the flickering light of torches in the distance just around the corner. He carefully proceeded down the hall, and turned around the corner. It seemed that the torches lit up only the entrance way to this large, stone wall room. The room seemed to stretch off into infinity at the opposite end of where Dael was standing. All that was present in the room was a stone table that had what looked to be a body covered in white cloth. The table was illuminated by moonlight via a large hole in the ceiling. Dael's eyes were fixed on the body that lay on top of the table. He didn't want to know who or what was under there. All of a sudden, a figure stepped out of the shadows. It wore black robes and a mask that had a peculiar mark on the left side of the mask. This masked figure slowly raised its hand and motioned for Dael to move closer to him. Dael slowly approached the table. He didn't want to, something was forcing to move forward. Shortly, he stood over the table where the figure was motioning for Dael to remove the cloth that covered the body. Dael slowly put his shaking hands on the top of the cloth, and pulled it back.

It was himself.

Dael tried to scream, but no sound would come out. He looked up through the hole in the ceiling and cried out to the heavens, but still no sound would emerge.

Dael awoke in the barracks in a cold sweat. Everyone else around him was still sound asleep. He had never felt such fear in his life before; it had literally gripped him and entered into the deepest corners of his body, utterly consuming him in this fear. He tried to stop shaking but couldn't. Finally, he just breathed a deep sigh and placed his head in his hands. He looked out the window. The Pearl Moon was glaring at him. He didn't know why, but he felt as thought the moon was mocking him; enjoying his pain. He hated that, but knew that he could do nothing about it. He resolved to go to sleep again. He needed it. He was only going to get a few hours rest, and then had to go back to work. Within a few minutes, he was sound asleep again.

[align=center]*****[/align]

Dael found himself under water. It was bright blue, like the tropical sea and he was floating just below the surface. He glanced around. He could not see the bottom, and nothing in any direction. He prepared to break the water's surface, but something grabbed his foot and stopped him. He did not know why, but he didn't want to look down. He struggled to break free to the surface, but whatever was holding him would not let him go. All of a sudden, it jerked him down at an amazing speed. He looked up to watch the shining surface rapidly disappear. He still didn't look down to see who or waht was pulling him down. He was thoroughly frightened at this point and was about to scream under water when he realsied that whatever it was that pulled him down had now let him go. He was now floating deep in the middle of the ocean, with nothing but a blue expanse before him. He looked around and saw a fishlike figure in the distance. He tried to observe it more clearly. It has a long snake-like body, bulbous gills, a wide and flat toothlined jaw, creepy eyes, and rag-like fins towards its hind side. It was a demonfish; a creature of the deeper part of the sea. It just hovered there a fair ways away and below him. It slowly cocked its head sideways to get a better look at him.

Dael turned around to see another demonfish rushing at him, and open its jaws right in front of his face and attempt to clamp down over his head.

Dael woke up so violently, that he hit his head on the bottom of the bunk above him. As he reeled back in pain, he was overcome with anger, desperation, and a sense of loss. He was afraid of falling asleep again because if he did, he might have another nightmare. He was laying there in bed rubbing his forehead and trying to figure out what to do. Then, he remembered Orisian's words: "When the moon is cut in half, and all the world sleeps; the Sojourner has no peaceful rest, for in his dreams he weeps." Now the second sign of the Prophecy was coming true. Dael didn't want to believe that. "It must just be a coincidence" is what he kept telling himself. But that voice in the back of his head was louder than before. It was asking him to consider what had happened so far. It told him that he could be the hero of prophecy. Dael shook his head in disbelief. It must be a coincidence. It just has to be. How could someone as young as him be expected to save the world? Orisian was just a crazy old man who rambled on the way crazy men do. The voice was starting to quiet down, but told him to heed one last thing; always consider the possibility of him being the hero of prophecy. Dael finally silenced the voice in his mind and with his new resolve, fell asleep again; confident that the events fo the past few days were all just freak coincidences.

[align=center]*****[/align]

It was sweltering. Hot. Murderous. Dael found himself in the middle of a desert. A quick glance revealed to him nothing as far as the eye could see except the odd shrub and the blue mountains to the north. As he looked to the north, he noticed a cloaked figure standing on the crest of a sand dune. He couldn't tell who it was, because the sun's reflection off of the sand was messing around with his vision. He stumbled closer to the shadowy figure. He could barely move in this boiling, empty and isolated desert, but still made his way towards the figure. As he slowly came closer, the wind picked up, coming from the direction of the figure. Dael pressed on against the wind, which yet again picked up. Now it was tossing sand into the air. Dael pressed harder against the wind, which only became the stronger the harder he resisted. Dael covered his face, and pressed on with a sense of determination and curiosity towards the figure.

The wind was blowing so hard and churning so much sand and other debris, that Dael was being pushed back. He was losing sight of the cloaked figure. He was now straining completely to see who this cloaked figure was. Almost as if his eyes flew towards the figure, he could now see what the figure was. Underneath its black cloak, there was a creature that had black horns that protruded slightly from the hood of the cloak. It had a reddish brown skin, and jet black hair. Where the whites of its eyes should have been, there was nothing but black. It had deep yellow irises, and pupils much like that of a cat, only these were far more intimidating. Dael also noticed that this face of evil was laughing through a white smile. It grinned wider and wider, until finally it shouted over the winds: "I look forward to killing you, Dael Nazcavar of Acacia!"

Frozen in fear, something made him reel back and he fell upon the desert floor. The winds were still violently spinning around him. As dust filled his lungs, he realised he couldn't breathe. The demon's laugh somehow pierced the howling winds. Dael wanted to shut it out, but couldn't. Shortly, he began to pass out from the sand entering his lungs, the last thing he saw, was a figure standing above him. Its face was hidden. Dael somehow knew that it wasn't the demon. He felt as if this new shadowy figure, was someone he knew very well. While he couldn't see his face, he felt a sense of pity coming from this person.

Dael awoke face first in his pillow. No wonder he couldn't breathe.

[Arctic_Menace]

Bump. Had to edit a part that didn't quite make sense.

[Arctic_Menace]

second bump.

[wildrosegirl]

Very impressive A.M. You definitely have a talent.

Best part - as a mom to two sons, there are SO few books on the market for boys to read! From what I've read of yours so far, this will be one that mine will dive into for sure (and when they're done, I'LL be stealin' it).

Keep it up!

[Arctic_Menace]

$1:

Very impressive A.M. You definitely have a talent.

Best part - as a mom to two sons, there are SO few books on the market for boys to read! From what I've read of yours so far, this will be one that mine will dive into for sure (and when they're done, I'LL be stealin' it).

Keep it up!

Awesome, thanks!

Now I need to pass it by the English Teachers along with anyone else who will bother to read this stuff. If they go for it, then I may just write some more and try to get a grant and write.

[wildrosegirl]

Arctic_Menace Arctic_Menace:

$1:

Very impressive A.M. You definitely have a talent.

Best part - as a mom to two sons, there are SO few books on the market for boys to read! From what I've read of yours so far, this will be one that mine will dive into for sure (and when they're done, I'LL be stealin' it).

Keep it up!

Awesome, thanks!

Now I need to pass it by the English Teachers along with anyone else who will bother to read this stuff. If they go for it, then I may just write some more and try to get a grant and write.

That would be fantastic. Keep me posted!

If you can't find someone there who will read it, lemme know. I have a good friend who teaches creative writing and I'm sure she'd love to pick through it for ya.