|
Author |
Topic Options
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:06 pm
VitaminC VitaminC: Neo-cons believe in massive government spending and tax increases compared to current Liberals......Look at the americans.....they are spending trillions on Iraq.
Bad logic.
Just because the United States is spending money on Iraq does not mean that that is neo-con philosophy.
Think straight, be happy. 
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:11 pm
797 797: The History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains in the summer & would go to the beach & live on fish & lobster in winter.
The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer & the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization & together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct sub-groups:
Liberals &Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered it required grain & that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."
Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the dishes, sewing, fetching & hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.' Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer, but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, &French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood & group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat & still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes & generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers & decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame & created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in the history of mankind.
How to tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Rural Conservatives
Answer: Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street, that would discourage such behaviour. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with somefriends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer: BANG!
Rural Conservative Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.... (sounds of reloading)... BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click  That is fucking aweomse! YOu just made my day....Ahahahaha So true....
|
VitaminC
Forum Super Elite
Posts: 2031
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:12 pm
Jaime_Souviens Jaime_Souviens: VitaminC VitaminC: Neo-cons believe in massive government spending and tax increases compared to current Liberals......Look at the americans.....they are spending trillions on Iraq. Bad logic. Just because the United States is spending money on Iraq does not mean that that is neo-con philosophy. Think straight, be happy. 
My point exactly. The conservatives in Canada don't have conservative values either....
Con values say gov't should be small, stay out of your business and give you independance, the Canadian Cons want to go into your house and tell you who to marry.....
Its funny but the Liberal Party has more conservative values than the CPC.....in terms of govening....the difference between the two is Social Values....religion...etc....
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:17 pm
Last time I checked they are not going into your houses, but paul martin actually is. Remember he wants to take away hand guns, that is actually going into your house.
|
VitaminC
Forum Super Elite
Posts: 2031
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:23 pm
Tricks Tricks: Last time I checked they are not going into your houses, but paul martin actually is. Remember he wants to take away hand guns, that is actually going into your house.
When the government want to pass a law that tells you who you are allowed to marry and who you aren't allowed to marry, trust me they are going into your house, your bedroom and your church.
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:26 pm
Meh, I would prefer them telling me I can't marry another guy then them taking away my gun
|
797
Active Member
Posts: 377
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:27 pm
VitaminC VitaminC: Tricks Tricks: Last time I checked they are not going into your houses, but paul martin actually is. Remember he wants to take away hand guns, that is actually going into your house. When the government want to pass a law that tells you who you are allowed to marry and who you aren't allowed to marry, trust me they are going into your house, your bedroom and your church.
Are you saying that you should be allowed to marry anyone?
Like your sister or something?
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:29 pm
Tricks Tricks: Meh, I would prefer them telling me I can't marry another guy then them taking away my gun
Please tell me your not 16 and own a gun 
|
VitaminC
Forum Super Elite
Posts: 2031
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:31 pm
797 797: VitaminC VitaminC: Tricks Tricks: Last time I checked they are not going into your houses, but paul martin actually is. Remember he wants to take away hand guns, that is actually going into your house. When the government want to pass a law that tells you who you are allowed to marry and who you aren't allowed to marry, trust me they are going into your house, your bedroom and your church. Are you saying that you should be allowed to marry anyone? Like your sister or something?
I only want to marry your sister.
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:31 pm
lily lily: tricks tricks: Meh, I would prefer them telling me I can't marry another guy then them taking away my gun Is that because you only care about the issues that affect you personally? Yes. LOL $1: Please tell me your not 16 and own a gun ...Maybe...Nah, I plan on getting one as soon as i move out though 
|
VitaminC
Forum Super Elite
Posts: 2031
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:40 pm
lily lily: VitaminC VitaminC: 797 797: VitaminC VitaminC: Tricks Tricks: Last time I checked they are not going into your houses, but paul martin actually is. Remember he wants to take away hand guns, that is actually going into your house. When the government want to pass a law that tells you who you are allowed to marry and who you aren't allowed to marry, trust me they are going into your house, your bedroom and your church. Are you saying that you should be allowed to marry anyone? Like your sister or something? I only want to marry your sister. What... you think my sister's not good enough for you? 
Ladies, ladies. There's plenty of Vitamin C for everyone.
|
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:42 pm
I think my sister would rather have scurvy ZING
|
|
Page 2 of 2
|
[ 27 posts ] |
Who is online |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest |
|
|