[Newsbot]

Title: Roadside memorials: dangerous eyesores or tender reminders?
Category: Misc CDN
Posted By: Hyack
Date: 2008-10-12 08:25:02
Canadian

[roger-roger]

$1:

It was taken down twice while someone put up a sign suggesting that the dead should be remembered in a cemetery.

Thats where these memorials should be, yes its sad your loved one died but you shouldnt make a public spectacle of it.

[emart]

every person deals with loss differently, so i understand the value some people have in wanting to keep a memorial, but there are much better and much more private and reserved ways to do it.

[sandorski]

Eyesore? Possibly. Dangerous? No.

I think they connect people to tragic events they probably heard on the News. In the grander scheme this kind of connectivity promotes Community as well as Awareness of a variety of issues that should concern everyone.

[ziggy]

They dont bother me unless there huge.There's a womans garter belt on a fence post at the bottom of the Lundbreck hill where one of my bud's died in a head on,his hat is also on the top of the fencepost.All from his wife and whenever I drive by and see it I'm reminded of him.

[Chumley]

Keep it in the cemetary. If everyone did that you couldn't swing a stick without hitting one.
I remember several in Edmonton that were covered in teddy bears and flowers. It didn't take long for it all to get covered in mud and it looked grotesque.

[Brenda]

A boy that attented my kids school drowned in the Columbia River and the parents put up one of those signs on a tree in the playground, so the kids would remember the boy..

The kids all got a letter home stating the reason why that was done and why it was taken off again. I think we have a damned decent principal at school. The sign is now at the cemetary...

On the (uphill) road from town to the village I live are I think 5 of them... I hate them... Its a steep hill, don't drink and drive, you will not live to tell...

[Scape]

Text messaging is more of a distraction. If enough crosses pop up kids will ask questions, uncomfortable ones they wouldn't have if they were out of sight in a cemetery. Questions that need to be answered like who died and why. When they find out it was a buncha kids drunk after a grad that had their lives in front of them but decided to run into a phone poll and kill themselves instead. Maybe then the allure of fast times and party party party might finally get grounded in reality.

On my way to work (30 min commute) there are at least 20 crosses. Most are kids that thought they were the exceptions, some were just bad intersections that need a better setup. All of which are deadly, poignant reminders that death happens when take the life a little too fast and loose.

[Hyack]

A simple cross or symbol on the side of the road is alright but, when it starts to look like a memorial shrine it's time to take it down......then move it somewhere appropriate.

[Scape]

The following months after an accident withers the memorial. They do die down after a while. There is a flourish to be sure and that can be excessive but on the side of the road it's as distracting as a billboard, one that was paid for in blood.

[TattoodGirl]

I think a simple cross or whatever sign of choice is good. It is a good reminder to drivers, pedestrians etc. to be a bit more cautious that an accident can happen. There was a huge memorial after 3 of my sons teammates died...the kids felt it was their last connection with them. 4 people died in that fiery crash..all too young.

**Edit: cuz I cant freaking spell

[roger-roger]

If you really wanted to remember them why not go out and get a second tomb stone to put on the side of the road. I feel that its a pathetic way of letting everyone know Jimmy or Sally died and they want to world to remember it. Its sad and I am sorry, but a patch of grass a few meters from a festering bogged down highway run off ditch is not the place to show the world how much you care. I dont think its very healthy either, a person is supposed to get over the death of a loved one, not constantly remind themselves of who they lost.

[TattoodGirl]

Unfortunately, most people dont move on too easy. Especially when young and sudden are involved. My preference, if it were me or my kids, would be none, but whatever gets a person through is good by me.

[roger-roger]

I still dont see it as heathy, a person may shoot up with heroine to cope with the loss of a loved one, it still doesnt make it healthy.

[TattoodGirl]

No I dont think it is healthy...the same way I dont see putting a memorial in a paper every year after someone dies. I agree, but everyone grieves differently...an immediate memorial is normal...but a continuous is in need of grief counseling. That can take years, I used to do the initial crisis counseling with the RCMP victim services...now I do the long term.

The one thing I do like about a permanent reminder is, I am a speed demon, in a car on a bike...and they flash in the corner of my eye and do snap my into reality.