[bootlegga]

$1:

Is the world ready for a Canadian pope? Stephen Colbert says no.

Colbert devoted most of his satirical news show The Colbert Report to coverage of Pope Benedict's surprise resignation on Monday, handicapping the possible contenders to lead the world's Catholics.

While the late-night funnyman acknowledged Quebec native Cardinal Marc Ouellet is in the running, he just couldn't see him in the Church's top job.
Cardinal Marc Ouellet, shown here in Rome in 2005, is in the running to replace Pope Benedict.

Ouellet, the funnyman says, has one major weakness: he's a Canadian.

"The Pope cannot be polite," said Colbert, standing in front of his "Papal Speculatron 7500."

"I'm sorry but 'I think God might not want you to use a condom, eh' won't work."

He also said nobody wants a Pope who might replace the traditional golden staff, while a doctored photo showed Ouellet in papal robes holding a Team Canada hockey stick.

The satirical newsman frequently needles America's northern neighbour on his show.

Ouellet, named a cardinal in 2003 by Pope John Paul II, was tabbed by Pope Benedict in 2010 to head the powerful Congregation for Bishops, which vets nominations for bishops worldwide. Foreign bookmakers have ranked him as one of the most likely candidates to take over from Pope Benedict.

Colbert also mentioned Angelo Scola, the archbishop of Milan, and Peter Cardinal Turkson, president of the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, as contenders.

But they didn't get the Colbert Bump, which is his highest endorsement.

That went to Timothy Cardinal Dolan of the Archdiocese of New York, someone Colbert described as "a BFF — Bishop Friend Forever."

"After all, God's an American," Colbert explained. "That's why the Bible is in English."

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/story/2013/ ... -pope.html

[DrCaleb]

$1:

"After all, God's an American," Colbert explained. "That's why the Bible is in English."

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/story/2013/ ... -pope.html


lol

Actually Mr. Colbert, it's written in British aka:Canadian English.

[PublicAnimalNo9]

Funny stuff but it falls flat on his last line. God would be English, not American

[BeaverFever]

PublicAnimalNo9 PublicAnimalNo9:

Funny stuff but it falls flat on his last line. God would be English, not American

It doesn't fall flat, its a joke that works in multiple levels. Namely the bible.predates USA and English language and secondly English waw not invented by USA.

[sandorski]

[Benn]

Last line is the best because I've run into more than one American who believes English came from there. The best line I've heard was a yank talking about someone knowing English and states, "his American was pretty good wasn't it?"

[ShepherdsDog]

more properly it would have been - his 'merican were purty good wernnit