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- When God created Earth -

Category: Canadian Jokes/Canada vs USA Jokes

From:	paprika
Author:	Unknown
Added:	May 15, 2005
Modified:	May 15, 2005
Views:	19113
Votes:	637
Rating:	9.65

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When God created Earth:

A funny joke about how God created Canada

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be
very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice
hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...."

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Posted By: Anonymous	do not talk about russians that way
Posted By: TheUSofA1776	poor iceland
Posted By: Arctic_Menace	Aww man, priceless
Posted By: Anonymous	awsome, dude. And the usofa1776....the jokes means UNDER them, whoever posted that got that word wrong, so eat that bitch!
Posted By: Anonymous	Oh ya, that could apply to Russians too... Russia is cool! TATU rules!!
Posted By: Anonymous	russia IS cool, tatu is SHIT!
Posted By: nothing	ok usa ive posted like 5 times what the hell are u doing on this site go back to sum crapy pussy us site and just go AWAY!!!
Posted By: Anonymous	burn
Posted By: Anonymous	u dont like usa
Posted By: Anonymous	No, we do like the USA. We just like Canada better. And besides, if we didn't like the USA we wouldn't make up all these hilarious jokes about them.
Posted By: kat42	don't wrry russia or iceland that isn't directed towards you it was a typo
Posted By: southyr6	that was a whole lot of reading for something that didn't even humor me. thanks for wasting my time with yet another unfunny piece of canadian sh!t.
Posted By: Bacardi4206	What a shocker, southr6 bitching about another joke. Please gain a sense of humor, or leaving the site and going to a American version website. You must have no life if you waste it on something like this. Congrats.
Posted By: btm11	i agree, southyr6 is just a stupid american with nothing better to do than get pissed off over nothing, and try and bash canada.
Posted By: Anonymous	the only reason we make fun of the us is cuz its so easy!

Jokes ©

Joke Comments

2 Rdnecks having a beer
Ahahaha, I feel like I have some friends who this happened to in real life!
By Anonymous
3 stupid men
That is hilarious! After hearing what the pilot says... *finger snap over head in valley girl style*
By Anonymous
The New Hockey Player
This is not funny. It is messed up.
By Anonymous
Newfie Air Disaster
Frickin lolz!
By Anonymous
God on the 8th day
I wish I could visit Canada.
By Anonymous